Jesse Journal: 46

Jesse’s Journal: 46

May 1, 2025

6:21pm: In order for me to have spiritual experiences, I need to experience others as I experience myself. I need to see other entities as parts of myself. This not only puts things into proper perspective for me, but it also expresses and helps express my eternal nature more.

6:23pm: I remember when I was having an episode arcturians were monitoring me and laughing at me. Hm.

6:24pm: Nameless to Itself: “You are trying so hard to see spiritual things. It is in the realm of invisibility. It is not meant to be seen, but only experienced.”

6:27pm: Yahweh is getting emotional with me. I do not know why exactly. I just see him in tears. Good to know he is still here.

6:29pm: Yeah my form is confusing. My foot is where my head should be. Hm. What on earth?

6:32pm: My form is made of dust.

6:33pm: Sight plays a huge role in experience. What you see etc. You are all free to disagree with this.

6:36pm: Experience through creation, and not just through discovery.

7:01pm: Nameless: “It is constantly going upwards…..”

Nameless: “And scattering….. and expanding.”

7:14pm: Nameless: “I do not believe in a subconscious mind. I am barely understanding the concept of a mind period. What is it exactly?”

7:16pm: Nameless: “I am going to explore the elements of nature. With the first phase being earth, air, fire, and water. And the second phase being the elements of space. Because let us not forget that space is a part of nature too. Space is an equal part of nature as the earth is. This includes all the planets, galaxies, stars, and black holes. Everything in space is nature. All the forces included.”

7:25pm: Nameless: “Yes! The spiritual is a space! It is the space in-between.”

May 2, 2025

6:59am: My siblings are so rude. The male ones in particular. I tried to say good morning to my sibling and he just straight up ignored me. I just responded with “never-mind…” Why do I even try with them? How do I stop trying? I am going to stop talking to them. If they do not want a relationship with me then they are not obligated to have one. But I am also not obligated to take their rudeness and disrespect towards me. They can stay bitter people. I am onto better things.

10:23am: I think it is my prescription glasses adjusting, but my phone looks slanted, like it is not a perfect rectangle. Everything else looks normal. It is just my phone.

10:45am: The week actually ends on Saturday and begins on Sunday. If we are going by the way of the calendars on our cellphones are set up.

10:47am: When I begin working again, I know I shall focus on my days off etc. but to me the week actually begins on Sunday and ends on Saturday. It then begins again on Sunday which commemorates the start of the new week. The week resets, but it also progresses. It may seemingly reset in this society, but it actually progresses. We are all constantly progressing, as the days, weeks, months, and years go by. We are continuously progressing towards something else. 2:53pm: So I would consider Mondays through Fridays a work week, but not an authentic week. That would be Sundays through Saturdays….

10:49am: So I will be on my 100th, program log entry on the start of a new week, on May 4, 2025 Sunday. Then after that I will no longer be posting it everyday. Only when it gets full in my notes, as I do with all my other journals.

11:05am: So I learned something about myself today: I am scared of eyedrops. They had to give me these special eyedrops to further examine my eyes and it hurt. I think I have sensitive eyes.

11:06am: Also another note from the doctor: All the sparkles I see are not a cause for concern. My eye doctor said that it could usually be the electricity caused from my brain etc. And she complimented me by saying that I am very observant naturally to notice that. Well of course I am observant, I see my spirit world. 😊

1:14: There is this dominant force that has taken a liking to me. I do not really know where it comes from. I saw this dominant force at the mental hospital and called him beautiful. He smiled at me. Then looked away. But he has been watching me since my birth, and he will take me after my death. AHHH! I just love Him. Who is He? I have mistaken this force for someone else in the spiritual. This force is so hot. Like a strong masculine force that is very protective over me. Where does it come from? What do I call Him? Hm…. When I go back home I shall look into this.

1:21pm: This dominant force does not have a name. Oh my. I submit to him. He is so hot. He ignites me.

1:23pm: I want to give him a gift that comes from my heart. I want to give him gifts that come from my heart. Oh my. I will love you forever. And I mean forever. You knew me before I was born. You will walk me through the death of my physical. I love you so much. My dominant one. The name dominant one feels close to what he is. I think I like this name for him. But then again he should not be confined by a name. He is a force, an energy, and a feeling. I love him for who he is. I do not need to give him a name. He is recognizable to me because of who he is. No titles, nothing. Just himself. I love you for who you are. I shall search for you.

1:26pm: I know what he looks like. But I think I shall keep this a secret for now.

1:34pm: If I look at him for too long, his appearance changes. He is actually connected to me and a piece of me. I love him so much. I love you so much.