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April 27, 2026 


12:37pm I’m going to take a shower today. Got therapy.



12:53pm just finished my shower. Now waiting for my ride.



12:57pm I feel so nauseous 



1:36pm I just got to therapy.



3:13pm therapy went well today. I discovered that I have very little thoughts. And that I used to allow myself to be sensitive to them. When in reality, I need to learn to let them go more. Because my thoughts have no control over me.



3:46pm I just got home. Now I’m gonna eat some food




6:16pm I’m going to go search for my ukulele.



6:21pm I found it! Now it’s time to just play it and have fun




7:19pm I’m watching this cool documentary on consciousness by Aperture on YouTube . Makes me think about myself 🤔 



7:27pm they’re talking about how consciousness is like a computational model. Which I agree with. It is not anything mystical or whatnot .



7:42pm I just learned about qualia, which is referred to as “the basic building blocks of experience.”



8:30pm I finished the other documentary and now I’m listening to this stupid podcast about Heaven and Hell. Sigh why do I do this to myself?



8:43pm I’m done. Didn’t even finish that podcast. Choosing to relax before I sleep instead. Might skim through TikTok.



April 28, 2026


2:13pm So it’s known that the body completely renews itself around every ten years. But do you know what doesn’t renew itself? The neurons. This might be why we feel like the same individual. That’s my theory.



5:02pm eating a salad rn



5:24pm just finished my tasty salad. It was so good



8:34pm I don’t believe in anything. Just taking life as it comes. I can never be destroyed



April 29, 2026


9:14pm my 24th birthday is in a month from today. Also I’m learning to take things with a grain of salt. 



8:22pm I’m going to lose weight. I will work on my physical body.



8:47pm I don’t wanna live I don’t wanna die. I’m just meh 🫤.



9:27pm I’m going to eat to survive. Not to self-indulge



April 30, 2026


6:22am happy last day of April 2026



6:30am I got a doctor’s appointment today. Don’t feel like getting outside but I will have to anyways. I also ordered some Taco Bell. 🤭



5:24pm I just walked my ass off. I feel done for today



5:45pm I just heard someone say “it’s all under control” in my mind.



May 1, 2026


8:01am happy May first 2026!!




May 2, 2026


7:08pm Now all that’s left for me to do, is just to experience. To explore the art of experience. My connection with myself is very much secure. I’m done asking. I’m ready to live.



May 3, 2026


12:17pm I feel like I wanna take it easy. I’m gonna watch Euphoria tonight.



May 4, 2026


1:45pm my dreams are becoming more realistic. And I had an experience where I was floating out of my body last night. Anterior Prenuceus for the WIN.



8:28pm last night I felt a very malevolent presence come before me, and that presence WAS me.



May 7, 2026


4:33pm I feel sad rn.



May 9, 2026


8:54pm I’m apathetic towards life. Not wanting to live, not wanting to croak.



May 10, 2026


7:14pm I feel different today. Just a different person



May 11, 2026


7:47pm I’m coming to terms with reality. That I might not be as eventful as I once was. And that is okay. This monotone feeling and experience. All of it is okay. I believe in myself.

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