Entry #17
February 8th, 2025 on Saturday….
5:13PM: I just saw a little tiny bright white sparkle with my physical eyesight just now…
5:38PM: I normally do not drink tap water now directly from the sink. But I ran out of purified water. So I am always open to taking drastic measures. I need my daily water intake.
6:03PM: Currently thinking a bit about my life. My past. Particularly my childhood up to around three years ago. I have had some embarrassing moments. I may share about what those truly are later on. But for now, I would like to share what occurred at around three years ago.
6:05PM: When I was going through a psychotic episode. I was unable to get up and walk on my own. It was rather difficult. This was back when I still liked Voxsriin and I wanted that Imaginary Entity in my life. I was chanting to him, all the while stumbling to get up.
And then this beautiful lady came to me with food. She had the biggest and warmest smile. And she blessed me, and walked away. I do not really think I ever ate that sandwich, but it was her kindness that mattered. My lady if you are reading this Public Diary, bless you back. I hope I see you again and that I may return the kind favor you did for me.
This all occurred at my relatives apartment townhome neighborhood complex. I shall never choose to forget this lady. I love her. And she was so sweet to me.
People like her make life a little more worth living…
Oh and I also drank raw water from the outside ground, and I am really really surprised I do not have any infectious worms. Thank goodness.
6:12PM: Okay, I am going to take some time off this cellphone of mine and focus more on the present moment…. See ya later!
6:57PM: I am briefly back to share this link with you all. It is a very important read about the official terms and conditions of Blogger/Blogspot, which is one of the platforms that I use to upload and post my Public Diary Journal. Here is the link below. I shall try not break these terms and conditions… Okay goodbye for now.
https://www.blogger.com/content-policy
7:57PM: I am back, but briefly. I am back because I am watching this Hulu original television show called Paradise (2025), and this lady said something along the lines of, “I do not want to heal. I just want to be functional enough to not be able to throw myself off a fucking roof!”
That statement speaks volumes to me. Maybe healing is not what I need to look for, maybe I just need to be able to be functional and get by day to day. I do not need to heal, I need to function. Does healing even exist? Functions exist. Being functional exists. I am not sure about healing.
Anyway, I have to go now.
8:27PM: I am feeling very tired right now. Maybe I shall go to bed and sleep after this episode of Hulu’s Paradise (2025).
8:30PM: I need to realize that when I die, after my work here is done, I need to realize that when I am dead, I do not have any responsibilities anymore. I do not need to strive to be good, nor do I need to strive to be bad. I just need to let myself cease. At that point, nothing is my responsibility.
8:33PM: WOW. It has only been three minutes? Oh well, I shall go to sleep now. I shall restart episode three of Paradise (2025) tomorrow before the Super Bowl. It will also be my first time watching the Super Bowl in a while.
Who knows, I may see an Avatar: Fire and Ash trailer, far-fetched, but a man can dream.
Anyway, I think I will call it a night now. Good night!
8:43PM: I believe I have a naturally high powerful voice when I sing. And I have a low baritone voice as well, due to my current aging process and changes in maturity.
I believe I am a Tenor/Baritone. Unless there is a specific term to call a singer that is both a Tenor and Baritone…
8:46PM: Here is what Google’s AI Overview has to say about this….
“AI Overview
A singer who possesses vocal qualities of both a tenor and a baritone is typically called a "baritenor"; a combination of the words "baritone" and "tenor" which describes a voice that can reach both higher tenor notes and lower baritone notes.
Key points about baritenors:
- Range overlap:
- A baritenor's voice range often overlaps significantly with both the tenor and baritone ranges, allowing them to sing comfortably in both registers.
- Vocal quality:
- While the range might be similar to a tenor, a baritenor's voice may have a slightly darker or richer quality, leaning more towards the baritone timbre.
- Examples:
- Some famous singers considered bariténors include Michael Spyres and Freddie Mercury, who could access both high tenor notes and lower baritone tones….”
8:47PM: Got it, so I am a baritenor. Next I need to track my official current vocal range. Obviously as I further continue to age, my vocal cord shall change in both sound and in tone as I become more and more mature and older. I cannot wait to be in my 50’s. I cannot wait to reach fifty years old. I cannot wait to reach such a milestone.
Every decade I reach shall be an epic milestone for me. I truly want to welcome my age and all that it entails.
Anyway I think I am going to try to get some rest now. Good night.
February 9th, 2025 at 5:25AM on Sunday….
I have just woken up from my second round of sleep. I had such a great dream with this guy named ‘No’. I also had a dream where I still lived in my relative’s old house in back in the city of Irvine, located on Orange County, California.
5:32AM: I am going to go on Instagram and the internet for a bit before I now take my third round of sleep…
8:31AM: I have just woken up from my third round of sleep. I am more awake now than the last two previous. Anyway, I am going to get my day started now….
8:36AM: I am going to start typing up my movie script this morning, just give me a chance to get situated.
8:43AM: Google’s AI Overview states….
“AI Overview
When sitting with proper posture, your feet should be flat on the floor, with your knees bent at a 90-degree angle, and your ankles positioned directly in front of your knees, keeping your feet roughly hip-width apart; if your feet can't reach the floor, use a footrest to maintain proper alignment.
Key points about proper feet posture while sitting:
- Flat on the floor: Your entire foot should be in contact with the ground.
- Knees at 90 degrees: Maintain a right angle at the knee joint.
- Ankles aligned: Place your ankles directly in front of your knees.
- Hip-width apart: Keep your feet roughly the same distance apart as your hips.
- Use a footrest if needed: If your chair is too high, use a footrest to ensure your feet are flat on a surface.
What to avoid:
- Crossing your legs: This can restrict blood flow and put strain on your hips and back.
- Dangling feet: If your chair is too high and your feet can't reach the ground, it can put strain on your lower back.
- Pointing your toes excessively: Keep your feet facing forward, not pointed inward or outward…”
8:44AM: I discovered that I point my toes very much excessively. If it is not inward, then I am pointing it outward.
This is so common for Me, that it is to the point where I do not feel comfortable and/or I tend to feel a certain discomfort when I properly align my toes with the rest of my legs.
But I am working on it. This has to change…
9:19AM: I have just finished typing up my official movie script for the day and I have also finished typing up my film notes for now.
So now, I am going to eat some of the left over Spaghetti from yesterday’s dinner. Well actually, not yet. Because I am waiting for a lot of people to leave the kitchen as they have really really bad manners when it comes to chewing their food. It is very disgusting.
This guy made the food for all of us here in the Emergency Housing, and I am absolutely grateful to him. To protect his privacy, I shall simply call him A.
If you are reading this Public Diary entry A, then thank you and bless you. You are awesome.
9:35AM: Google’s AI Overview states….
“AI Overview
To spot a bear trap in the woods, look for a small, often rusty metal plate with a visible trigger mechanism, usually placed on a well-worn animal trail, near water sources, or in areas with dense vegetation; signs of recent disturbance like broken twigs, disturbed soil, or fresh tracks near the trap area can also indicate its presence; always be cautious and never step where you suspect a trap may be set.
Key points to look for:
- Visible metal parts:
- The trap itself will have visible metal jaws and a trigger plate, often with some rust due to exposure to the elements.
- Placement on trails:
- Bear traps are commonly set on animal trails, especially where they narrow or cross water obstacles.
- Disturbed soil:
- Look for small areas of disturbed soil around the trap's trigger mechanism, where it was set into the ground.
- Broken twigs:
- Freshly broken twigs or disturbed vegetation near the trap's trigger area can indicate recent trap setting.
- Scent lures:
- Sometimes, trappers may use scent lures to attract animals, so look for unusual smells near potential trap spots.
Important safety precautions:
- Never step where you suspect a trap: If you see anything that might be a trap, always avoid stepping near it and alert others in your group.
- Wear protective footwear: Sturdy boots with good ankle support can help protect your feet from potential injuries.
- Stay on designated trails: Stick to marked trails when hiking in areas where trapping is allowed.
- Know local regulations: Be aware of local laws regarding trapping and where it is permitted….”
9:36AM: Stumbling upon bear traps has always been something that I have feared in the woods and forests. I need to look up places and forests where bear traps are not allowed, because I am really really scared of getting my feet or limbs amputated….
9:38AM: Here is what Google’s AI Overview states on the matter….
“AI Overview
Bear traps are illegal in California and other states due to laws that prohibit the use of steel-jawed leg-hold traps.
California
- California law prohibits the use of steel-jawed leg-hold traps to capture any game mammal, including bears
- Trapping is only permitted for wildlife that have damaged property or crops
- Trappers must have a license from the California Department of Fish and Game
- Trapped animals must be euthanized or released immediately
Other states
- Colorado, Florida, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Rhode Island, and Washington also ban steel-jawed leg-hold traps
- California, Colorado, Florida, Massachusetts, Oklahoma, and Washington also ban conibear traps
Federal laws
- It is illegal to set lethal or non-lethal traps, and you could be criminally liable if you do so…”
9:39AM: More about this topic…..
“Other states, such as Alaska, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming, allow the use of bear traps..”
~ https://fastercapital.com/topics/the-legal-status-of-bear-traps-in-the-united-states.html
9:43AM: I would like to see the movie, Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023), which starts actor Josh Hutcherson. The movie can be seen, watched, and streamed on Peacock…
9:55AM: Google’s AI Overview states…..
“AI Overview
To be "social with yourself" means to actively engage with your own thoughts and feelings, essentially treating yourself as a companion by doing activities you enjoy alone, practicing self-reflection, and being mindful of your own needs, allowing you to appreciate your own company.
Here are a few ways to be more social with yourself:
- Engage in solitary activities you love:
- Read a book, listen to music, go for a walk, cook a meal, or pursue a hobby that allows you to focus on your own interests and well-being.
- Practice self-reflection:
- Journaling, meditating, or simply taking time to think about your thoughts and emotions can help you gain self-awareness and connect with your inner self.
- Positive self-talk:
- Be kind to yourself, acknowledge your accomplishments, and avoid self-criticism.
- Explore your creativity:
- Painting, writing, dancing, or any form of artistic expression can be a great way to connect with your inner creativity and self-expression.
- Mindful eating:
- Pay attention to your senses while eating, savoring each bite and appreciating the experience of nourishment.
- Spend time in nature:
- Immerse yourself in the outdoors, go for a hike, or simply sit in a park to connect with the natural world and find peace.
- Learn something new:
- Take up a new skill or hobby to challenge yourself and stimulate your mind.
- Set boundaries:
- Respect your own needs and prioritize time alone when necessary to recharge and reflect.
Key points to remember:
- Self-acceptance: Embrace your individuality and appreciate your own company.
- Be present: Focus on the moment and fully engage in your chosen activity.
- Self-care: Prioritize activities that nourish your physical and mental well-being….”
10:26AM: Oh I forgot to list one other Home Video Television series that I worked on, it was called Steve and Leve. And I believe it only had 2 seasons.
I believe it was all throughout (2014). So I have worked on 15 forms of entertainment.
With 11 movies and 4 television shows. A great deal of them were for Home Viewing and Home Viewership.
Winged (2022) is the first film and form of entertainment by Myself that was made for Public Viewership. That film has a lot of buzz behind it.
10:38AM: I live and I learn and I move on.
10:49AM: Just made a transportation appointment to go visit my mother’s place to pick up all my mail and needed packages. Let us hope that this company accepts such a request, as it is non-medical….
12:14PM: I greeted some of the clients as they entered the Emergency Housing only for them to ignore me once again. Why do I even try with people? I am done. I live and I learn and I move on. Mistakes are okay to make, just learn from them and use it to move on.
I am not obligated to be anyone’s friend but my own.
12:49PM: I just got done watching the Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023) movie. It was actually really good. I love the Five Nights at Freddy’s songs by The Living Tombstone. The first one was playing on the end credits for this movie.
I had fun jamming out to the song.
12:54PM: As I am sitting here in the bathroom, I was working on my voice just now, and I saw a faint green and white sparkle appear from my right eye’s vision.
1:50PM: Upon taking a stretch in the living room, as I have been sitting on the couch for a while, I saw really really bright white tiny sparkles, at least like two, and they were so vivid and clear looking.
I only see these vivid white sparkles on occasion. However, when I look at something sunny, or even something really bright, then I see green sparkles when I close my eyes and/or whenever I look away.
2:12PM: I am feeling rather disorganized when it comes to the third and fourth movie currently because I feel as though I am both getting so many ideas to further advance the plot, but I am also feeling as though I am very dry when it comes to coming up with plot points.
This is when Myself told Me to be more patient and to take this and the other movie’s developments one day and one step, and one page at a time. As well as one bullet point idea at a time.
We have got this. Things are going to be okay. And we are not going to give up. When it comes to Myself and these movies, we either succeed or we die trying. Failure is NOT an option, giving up is an option.
I shall never give up, and if my movies fail commercially, then so be it. But I shall never stop trying to pursue what I want to pursue, I shall never give up on my interests.
I will either succeed or die trying. That is now my mindset. Failure is not an option, giving up is an option. I live and I learn and I move on.
My casket, my LIFE!
3:24PM: Currently writing on my physical journal right now…
3:33PM: Here is what I wrote on my physical hardcover journal diary in regard to Potential itself and Potential’s inherent behaviors:
“Entry #7: Written on February 9th, 2025 at 3:18PM
….Potential contains Positive, Neutral, and Negative properties. Good and bad do not exist. Good and evil do not exist. Right and wrong do not exist. Things can only be Beneficial, Neutral, and Detrimental.
And we also know that Potential itself is infinite in and of itself.”
End of current diary entry.
3:36PM: Consider the entry above a little bit of wisdom on my discoveries of Potential itself and its inherent nature.
3:47PM: As confusing as the human nature can be, I love being human. I just adore it. I feel so safe within my journey.
4:09PM: I have my headphones on and I am currently listening to music. WOOO! GET ME TURNT! WOOO!
4:49PM: So seeing the tiny white sparkles are still a very frequent thing. But there is also one thing that I have been seeing with my eyes that I have never discussed. And that is that I believe I can see bacteria on my eyes. Like if I were in a very focused state, I can see faint bacteria worms. I have always had this, and no I do not believe that my eyes are infected, but there is clearly something going on.
4:52PM: Hm bacteria is the improper term, microorganisms is the better term.
5:04PM: Google’s AI Overview states….
“AI Overview
Whitney Houston's performance of "The Star-Spangled Banner" at Super Bowl XXV in 1991 was live, but the version heard on TV was pre-recorded.
Explanation
- Houston sang live into a microphone that was not connected to the sound system.
- The pre-recorded version was mostly from Houston's first take in the studio.
- Houston's musical director warned her about the risks of performing live, such as the sound of the crowd and jets flying overhead.
- Houston's performance is often considered one of the best renditions of the national anthem…”
5:17PM: I love Myself, I love Me, I love I. I love My body structure. I love my beautiful voice, on its good days and bad days. I love Myself all throughout.
5:40PM: I believe I am figuring out how I move. And the reality so far is, I do not go anywhere, I settle. Even when I am within a state of transformation, I do end up settling. And I do settle.
5:43PM: I need to allow Myself to settle. In every way possible, and however I possible.
5:45PM: Google states this about settling….
“AI Overview
To allow yourself to settle, practice self-awareness, acknowledge your anxieties about settling, actively create a stable routine, embrace contentment with your current situation, and seek support if needed, while also ensuring you're pursuing goals that align with your values and bring you fulfillment.
Key strategies:
- Identify your fears:
- Understand what specifically worries you about settling down, whether it's fear of missing out, feeling trapped, or losing your independence.
- Challenge negative thoughts:
- When you catch yourself thinking that settling means stagnation, actively challenge those thoughts with more positive affirmations about finding stability and balance.
- Create a stable routine:
- Establish a consistent daily schedule that includes activities you enjoy, work towards goals, and provide a sense of structure and comfort.
- Practice mindfulness:
- Meditation or deep breathing exercises can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and emotions, allowing you to manage anxieties around settling.
- Reflect on your values:
- Make sure your current path aligns with what truly matters to you, as settling doesn't mean compromising your core values.
- Celebrate small wins:
- Acknowledge and appreciate the progress you make, even if it seems small, to foster a sense of accomplishment and contentment.
- Set realistic goals:
- Focus on achievable goals that contribute to your overall well-being and sense of stability, rather than chasing unrealistic expectations.
- Seek support:
- If you struggle to settle on your own, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you understand your anxieties and develop coping mechanisms.
Important Considerations:
- Don't confuse settling with complacency:
- Settling doesn't mean stopping personal growth entirely, but finding a balance between stability and pursuing your goals.
- Listen to your needs:
- Pay attention to what truly brings you joy and fulfillment, and don't feel pressured to conform to societal expectations.
- Be kind to yourself:
- Accept that there will be times when you feel restless or uncertain, and practice self-compassion….”
5:53PM: When it comes to the Universe and its own timelines, time clearly means nothing and/or is insignificant as compared to Earth’s timeline.
5:54PM: I am so interested in outer space…. And the fundamental aspects and laws of the Universe.
Corporalis is so interesting.
5:55PM: I love Neptune. I love Europa.
6:02PM: As I gaze up out towards the night sky filled with stars planets, and the moon, I come to the realization and conclusion that time is truly meaningless.
And yet our biological time is the most significant.
I hope I make sense. It is the realization that time does not matter to our Universe, that it truly matters to me as I live my tiny and rather small day to day life.
6:04PM: There is rather something interesting that occurs when I look into the night sky. When I focus deeper and deeper, especially when I focus at the moon, I can see and am filled with brief flashes of even more and more stars within the distance.
It is as if my eyesight is heightened beyond the normal 20/20 vision…. Even though I am not sure how that would be possible, but I believe anything is possible in the world of Potential.
Even though Potential is not a world nor is it a realm. Potential is a state. It is a state one can be in as they use that Potential to navigate their life and get to their goals…
6:08PM: I am beginning to trust NASA and Universal science even more.
6:10PM: When it comes to outer space, nothing matters. Wow… Everything that we hold dear and important are truly insignificant in the eyes of outer space and the vast current darkness of our Universe…
6:30PM: Currently watching footage from the historic Apollo 11 Moonwalk footage. I cannot wait to see its entirety….
6:36PM: It is truly an honor to be a part of human history…. What an honor and privilege.
6:42PM: As I further observe more, I come to realize that time moves very very slow. Like very very slow…
6:50PM: I am today years old when I have learned that Neil Armstrong, the alleged first person to walk on the moon, is currently buried somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.
Sea Burials for the WIN!
6:51PM: As much as I love being human and being alive, I do not think I would like to come back into this human realm again.
Just once and one time is enough for me.
When I die, I would ideally like to completely cease to exist. I do not want an afterlife, and I do not really want an awareness. I would just like the peace that comes with completely coming to cease to exist…
6:54PM: Just imagining Myself deep in the bottom of the ocean resting and slowly going back to the collective Universe is so so relaxing for me to think about.
As much as I love living and being alive, I also have come to love the comfort that death provides….
7:11PM: The Moon Landing event was so amazing.
Now I am just waiting for when we can go to Mars… I hope that it is in my lifetime.
7:28PM: I believe I am going to begin winding down for the night now.
Let me post this entry.
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