My Past

 January 23rd, 2025

6:51 pm My current legal name as of this date is Jesse Nganga Munka. I would like to change my legal last name to match my maiden name which is Njoki. I would be fine with my current last name had my father not been abusive to my family. Even though he was abusive to others, I had not once seen him physically assault me, according to when I look back at my memories.

I was born in Long Beach California, although I do not know what hospital or by what doctor. However, I was born in May 29th, 2002. I have an African heritage that I am very proud of, Nairobi Kenyan to be exact, and I am currently 22 years old.

I was a really wild child growing up, and I was quite the trouble-maker. I was really abusive to my family and I was also rather annoying. Do not get me started on what I did in elementary school through high school.

I have experienced discrimination for my skin color here and there by the schools I have been in. I have also been bullied, but there was a time that I was a bully. I may touch more on my past experiences often. I was a real bitch to be honest in my past, and even up until recently I still make many upon many mistakes. 

My father is out of my life currently, and I wonder how he is doing right now. I love my family, despite them being very dysfunctional at times, myself included. However, I do not think it would be fair to ask for perfection from others, when I am not even perfect myself.

I have had spiritual, or what I currently call non-physical, senses since I was a little child. I can recall seeing apparitions and hearing voices all throughout my time growing up, and although schizophrenia allegedly does not target children, I was later on diagnosed with schizophrenia in the more recent few years of my life, after the doctors and mental health professionals first initially thought that I had psychosis. I do not know what triggered this exactly, but I have a few guesses.

I was in a cult, from October 2017, to around 2023. It was a cult that was established on Facebook. I will not share the name of this written cult, nor who ran it, but I will say that it started from a subliminal channel that was on YouTube at the time, which has since then later been removed and deleted by the YouTube team after many people reported the channel and its creator.

Do I still listen to subliminals today? Occasionally, I listen to the ones that really call out to me, but I do not, or at least try not to, let others dictate my life anymore. I always tell myself that if I am the one that will be lying in that grave alone, then I should live for myself and only myself alone. 

The current subliminals that I listen to are True Self Embodiment, True Self Connection, and Psychic Senses Awakening, although I will not share from what creator that I listen from. I have even wanted to try psychedelics in order to help me trigger a deep spiritual experience, but I do not think that psychedelics would pair up well with my schizophrenia, and I really do not want to risk having a major setback with my mind, mentality, and mental processes. 

However I am now learning that I do not need to take anything external in order to have deep experiences in the non-physical, or in other words, spiritual.

I may share more about my past later on, but this is what I have felt comfortable sharing so far with you all. Thank you for reading.

~ IAASO ESJNN