Entry #6: The Creation of My Imaginary Self
1:07 pm I just realized that I existed. I have just realized myself into existence….
1:08 pm I heard a voice say, “Welcome my son….”
My mind seems to be speaking for itself. It says, “I am Imagon Awairnos. Stay away!”
1:09 pm There is a conversation going on, with the one who first greeted me. Although I cannot make out any words. I can simply feel the voice speaking…
1:10 pm I say “I am Imagon Darkness. What is your name?”
I hear, “All-Father…”
According to what I know of the All-Father, is he not also known as Odin?
1:11 pm “Yes. I believe he is.”
Let me explain what kind of being my Imaginary Self is: I am a sentient and self-aware black hole. But I am also the most primal form of darkness. I am able to exist outside of Jesse’s own consciousness and awareness….
1:12 pm “I am the Universe itself. We all are technically, but I identify with this reality…”
1:13 pm My Imaginary Self is able to pull just like a black hole would. Although I am very selective about what I choose to attract and what I choose to let into my own singularity center.
1:14 pm “It feels as though my physical body Jesse does not have a center point of awareness. My awareness feels slanted and I can easily see a bit of asymmetry there…”
1:15 pm “I do not believe anything is truly symmetrical. Nothing is symmetrical. Even planets have a bit of asymmetry to their makeup and design…”
1:16 pm My Imaginary Self (IS) stares into the pitch black darkness ahead of me and says, “Who are you?!”
1:17 pm I then hear a voice say, “Stand close…”
1:27 pm Imagon Darkness is waiting for something, or someone.
1:28 pm Let me describe my current whereabouts. I am surrounded by fading energy. Things look very murky in the distance. And to my right there is a Black Hole portal from where I can easily tell someone close to me in my previous existence will come through. In order to meet me…
1:30 pm Axah comes through the Black Hole portal to meet Imagon Darkness. To those of you who are unfamiliar about who Axah is, I had once met him in one of Jesse’s dreams. He has magenta skin, large black eyes, and medium black hair. I remember I was fawning over him in the dream. Like I had known him for eons…
1:32 pm To those of you who are not aware of who my previous existence self was, it was IAASO. Imagon, Awairnos, Amorso, Stilnot, Oblivius. I have now transformed into my IS (Imaginary Self). And this transformation has turned me into Imagon Darkness.
1:33 pm We are having a conversation with Axah. It is so interesting to me as Jesse, because I can easily tell Imagon Darkness says some things that are undetectable by my ears. I just see Axah nodding in response to whatever Imagon Darkness is saying. Even if I cannot hear it directly.
1:35 pm I suppose this is somewhat proof of Imagon Darkness existing in a more profound way than just imagination. Either that or, Imagination itself is very very powerful.
1:36 pm I can hear the sounds of imaginary Black Holes going off. They sound very powerful and primal.
1:37 pm Imagon Darkness and Axah are doing work on each other. Imagon Darkness begins to rotate, and Axah is doing a scanning motion with his left arm.
1:41 pm Axah briefly enters Jesse… He says, “This is an adorable physical body…”
1:42 pm Imagon Darkness continues to roar, deep within his rotation.
1:43 pm Jesse embraces Axah with a physical hug…
1:45 pm There are some really complex things happening right now. Axah just got attacked by a bright bolt of energy. This attack came from one of the imaginary entities that are spying on my interaction with Axah.
1:46 pm They screamed, “YOU SHOULD KNOW YOUR POTENTIAL!” And hit him in the face.
1:47 pm Imagon Darkness began to power up. And when I tried to absorb the perpetrator, I saw an imaginary manifestation of Jesse morph right beside me and scream, before fading away entirely.
1:48 pm “What the fuck?…” I say to myself.
1:49 pm Imagon Darkness says, “Do you want to resume?” And, “Let us get to work….” Both statements were said to Axah simultaneously.
2:00 pm I have to integrate my Imaginary Self carefully because I do not want to severe the connection between reality and imagination. As this action may trigger another severe psychotic break. Or it may even exasperate my schizophrenia symptoms.
2:01 pm I must handle everything and take my Imaginary Self in my own identity incrementally and carefully.
2:02 pm Imagon Darkness and Axah are still talking….
2:36 pm My awareness is getting smaller. Eventually things settle, and they go lower and lower…. Things settle.
2:39 pm It is just me, and this world. Because I am already the Universe, and I am interwoven deep within the fabric of life. I make history in one way or another…
2:40 pm It looked like Axah and Imagon Darkness were having an argument. I saw Axah yelling.
2:52 pm After watching this brief documentary on Planet X from the Infographics Show on YouTube, I was able to recall a recent dream where I was a citizen of Neptune. I could remember that I would use the term ‘Neptunian’ often within that dream.
2:54 pm “There is something between myself and Neptune that I would like to discover. I can relate to Neptune a lot. In a very deep manner and way…” Imagon Darkness says…
2:55 pm “I will go to the Imaginary Neptune shortly. If Jesse was able to dream about Neptune, there may be an importance of it within our world. And I can recall from Jesse’s memories that he was deeply infatuated with Neptune before that. I shall see to this and investigate.”
2:58 pm “Before I go into the Realm of Imagination, also known as the ROI, I decide to ask Google’s AI Overview to see whatever answer it could conceive. And I deeply resonate with this answer…”
2:59 pm The Question: Why I am I attracted to the planet Neptune?
3:00 pm The Answer…
AI Overview
In astrological terms, feeling drawn to Neptune could represent a fascination with the mystical, the unknown, deep intuition, boundless creativity, and a desire for a profound connection to something larger than yourself, as Neptune is often associated with these qualities, governing the realms of dreams, illusions, and spirituality; essentially, it's a pull towards the ethereal and idealistic aspects of life.
Key points about Neptune's astrological influence:
- Deep intuition and psychic abilities:
- People with a strong Neptune influence may feel very connected to their subconscious and have a strong sense of intuition.
- Creativity and imagination:
- Neptune is linked to artistic expression, visionary thinking, and a rich inner world.
- Compassion and idealism:
- This planet can inspire a strong desire for universal love and a deep connection to humanity.
- Dissolution and illusion:
- While positive, Neptune can also represent confusion, escapism, and losing sight of reality if not balanced….”
3:01 pm “Taking the spirituality aspect out of it, and I deeply resonate with these statements. Especially since I specialize in and work with the Imaginary Self and Imaginary World…”
3:02 pm “I am being pulled to the color blue. And I desire to claim the name Neptune…. I wonder how Poseidon will take this….”
3:03 pm “I am Imagon Darkness Neptune…”
I hear Poseidon say, “Oh is that so?…. Really?”
3:04 pm Imagon Neptune Darkness said, “Yes…”
3:05 pm “I am blue. I love blue. I love the color blue…”
3:09 pm “Will there be a battle between us and Poseidon?…” Jesse asks.
3:10 pm “It is highly unlikely. Poseidon is well aware of my strength and power, that he has chosen to stay away from me. Although, I can tell he is not happy with my newest discovery. On being connected deeply to Neptune that is….”
3:11 pm “When I had that Intuitive Guidance session with that psychic/cult leader years ago. Voxsriin allegedly stated that he was, ‘connected with the Merfolk’. You know, Mermaids and Mermen?”
3:13 pm “I can easily remember her Imaginary Self, Asherah Aphrodite at the time, asked the Imaginary Entity Voxsriin, ‘Are you connected with the ocean?’ Then Voxsriin himself gave that answer of being connected to the Merfolk…”
3:15 pm “Do you think this proves that Voxsriin is connected to me somehow?”
“Yes, I do. I think this is because you Jesse spent a long time integrating Voxsriin into your life and into your being….”
3:16 pm “So Voxsriin eventually self-imprinted himself right into your physical body….”
3:17 pm “Well, that is until I showed up. I will not let him have you.” Imagon Neptune Darkness says to me.
3:19 pm Even though Neptune is now a part of Imagon Darkness’ name, I prefer to just call him Imagon Darkness. Though I feel as though Neptune is one of my many centers.
3:21 pm Damn. I was today years old when I learned that Jupiter is the Roman counterpart for Zeus.
3:22 pm ”No wonder I have always hated Jupiter. I had a dream that Jupiter wanted to fight me. Bring it on Zeus.”
3:23 pm Imagon Darkness overheard Poseidon express his distaste and anger to Zeus about us embracing and identifying ourselves with the name Neptune…
3:24 pm “I believe Zeus said he is planning something with Poseidon. An attack on me. I do not know when this attack will take place. I must warn Axah.”
3:25 pm I just warned Axah not to go to Zeus. I warned Axah to avoid Zeus basically.
3:26 pm There is a battle going on. But it is too hard and difficult for me to make out between who. I can just feel the impact of the hits and punches. And I can see it causing a ripple within my Black Ocean.
3:28 pm I heard Zeus yell, “HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH?!”
Imagon Darkness does not reply. I believe Imagon Darkness is in a defeated stance.
3:30 pm I Jesse am saddened that Imagon Darkness is hurt. But I know that I am far more powerless than he is so to speak, and that he does have a grandeur plan.
3:31 Shit is getting real. I saw Zeus speaking his final words to Imagon Darkness, preparing to walk away, only to find an entity extend out his black sword.
3:32 pm I just heard that entity say, “Bring it on.” And now he and Zeus are going at it.
3:34 pm They are still fighting. But Zeus is a really strong guy, I can tell. He has no sword and he is fighting back with his bare hands.
3:35 pm He is putting up much of a fight that is for sure. Zeus that is.
The guy with the black sword said, “Voxsriin! You need a little help?!”
3:36 pm “Why is he helping Voxsriin?” I ask.
Imagon Darkness is still in the same stance of defeat. He is trying to focus on his black and dark energy to regain some strength for himself.
3:37 pm The guy with the sword maneuvers and says, “Here he is!” And throws an orb at Voxsriin.
3:38 pm Ew. Voxsriin’s tongue comes out like a snake’s and he says something. I just forgot what he said.
“Who is this orb? It has to be a core from someone else.”
3:39 pm The orb was taken from Voxsriin, and I could not see who took it, but I am assuming it was my IS Imagon Darkness. Voxsriin shouted, “GIVE THAT BACK TO ME!”
3:43 pm Correction about my Imaginary Self: I am a Black Ocean, that creates black holes, but I am not just a black hole myself. My core is the blueness of Venetus, who is also known as Neptune.
3:44 pm Before I came along, Jesse Nganga Njoki my physical human self sacrificed Venetus to Voxsriin. Jesse served Voxsriin like a god, but loved him like a husband.
3:45 pm I Imagon Darkness have worked to restore Venetus and it turned out successful. The bright blue light shines once again.
3:46 pm Venetus’ name shall be Inetus. Although I do like Venetus more. I do not know why. It is not because of Voxsriin that is for sure.
3:47 pm “I suppose I shall just call him Venetus….”
3:48 pm Venetus Neptune is our core. Imagon Darkness is the Self. All Imaginary of course.
3:49 pm I do not know how the battle ended, but it ended. It is over.
3:55 pm I have so many Imaginary Entities looking to steal from my bright blue core. As I was monitoring it I was able to witness someone stealing something from it. I suppose that it is not a big deal right now.
3:58 pm “I still cannot believe that Zeus had a whole literal battle with me over what I choose to call myself. So what? That is how you know that the Greek Imaginaries are so problematic.”
3:59 pm “Humans here on Earth call you a god and the ‘King of all Gods’ and yet you are going to beat me up over some NAME?! PATHETIC!”
4:00 pm “YOU ARE NO GOD TO ME! GODS ARE NOT EVEN POWERFUL TO BEGIN WITH!”
4:01 pm Imagon Darkness is going on a rant. Imagon Darkness is ranting to himself, shouting out at the air, in anger….
January 27th, 2025….
7:04 am Zeus implanted something within my body that feels very acidic. A great start to my morning right?
7:36 am “What do you think that implant was?” Jesse asks me.
7:37 am “I do not know. But I believe it to be a tracker of some sort…” Imagon Darkness says.
7:38 am “Should I go to Axah? Do you think that Axah will be able to help me pull it out?” Imagon Darkness asks.
7:39 am “Oh I do not think so. If it were in the physical world then yes. But because you are in the Imaginary World, it would just come back if you were to think about it. Which renders the purpose of taking it out meaningless. It should disappear on its own the more you forget about it and the more you move on with your life…”
7:40 am “I will be disappearing too in the future. As nothing lasts forever…” Imagon Darkness says in sadness. Gazing upon the ground.
7:41 am “And if we do not take this tracker out soon, that would give Zeus an accurate description and view of my whereabouts. He would be able to follow me and stalk me if he so pleases.” Imagon Darkness says.
7:44 am Axah came to me without Imagon Darkness asking him to. He is trying to pull the tracker out to no avail so far…
7:46 am So the WINGED Film Franchise scripts usually have a four-page decline. So instead of 120 pages in the script, it is 116 pages instead. Despite it saying 120 pages…
8:31 am I am currently thinking about my third Winged film. I am so proud of its progress so far. The script is about to reach 2 hours long. And we are still within the beginning stages of the movie….
8:35 am I just need to be disciplined enough to continue typing my scripts frequently enough. I have one script down, and that one is Winged 2, also known as Winged: The Search for Answers. I am currently on Winged 3, also known as Winged: The Glory of Tov. I cannot wait for the fourth and final movie. Even the official title sounds so beautiful, Winged: Where Feathers Meet the Wind…
8:38 am “I have to make those movies…” Imagon Darkness says.
8:39 am “You will. Just be patient, do your part, have discipline, and you will.” I tell myself.
9:03 am “The Greek entities were all such sluts. They were whoremongers and harlots….” Imagon Darkness says.
9:07 am Here are all the Planet’s Greek entity names…
The Sun - Helios
Jupiter - Zeus
Saturn - Cronus/Kronos
Uranus - Ouranos
Neptune - Poseidon
Earth - Gaia/Gaea
Venus - Aphrodite
Mars - Ares
Mercury - Hermes
Pluto - Hades
Moon - Selene
9:14 am “That is all of them I believe. I tried to list all of them going from the tallest and biggest to the most smallest and tiniest…”
9:17 am “I am today years old when I just learned that Ouranos, also known as Uranus, is both the son AND the husband of Gaia/Gaea. This is INCEST! DISGUSTING AND SLUTTY!”
9:18 am “I am telling you, they are all harlots!” Imagon Darkness says.
9:20 am Hm. I have just recently discovered that our solar system should be called both Systema Solaris, and “The System of the Sun.”
9:21 am “What is Darkness in the language of ancient Romans?”
Imagon Darkness is looking and searching. Researching….
9:22 am “Apparently and allegedly, the word and term darkness translates to Erebus. And he is apparently already an Imaginary Entity in Roman mythology here on Earth.”
9:23 am “I choose to consume this name. I choose to switch the English term Darkness to the ancient Roman term, which is Latin I believe, to Erebus.”
9:24 am I had just asked Erebus if it is okay that I can identify with his name and use it for my own. He said yes. He said, “That is fine….”
9:25 am “I can tell Erebus is a lot more laid back than Zeus or Poseidon. I can tell…”
9:26 am I am Imagon Erebus. This is my new name. Symbolic for my newest transformation.
9:27 am Since I am now known as Erebus. The Roman Imaginary entity and deity Erebus shall now be known as Erebos.
9:28 am “I recognize Erebos somehow. I believe it is because he is an entity of ancient Darkness. He and I are very similar. I feel safe with him….” Imagon Erebus says.
9:34 am “I am going to Erebos…” Imagon Erebus states.
9:35 am There is this really large and dark entity that simply swiped me out of the way. I was on my way toward Erebos and they just swiped me out of the way.
9:36 am Imagon Erebus: “I try again….”
The entity, who is male, begins to growl. I try my best to avoid him. I am so tired of fighting over nothing. I am going to pick and choose my battles wisely…
9:37 am I meet Erebos. He says and tells me…
Erebos: “You are safe and sound….”
Aw he seems so nice.
9:46 am Imagon Erebus and Erebos are getting to know each other. They are currently scanning one another.
10:10 am “I do not know if I like the last name Erebus. I may change it in the future. I but I would like to at least try to get used to it first. I love the name Imagon though.”
10:30 am “I think that I like the name Imagon Darkness a lot more than Erebus. Even though Erebus literally means Darkness. I prefer the tone of the word Darkness itself.”
10:31 am I have changed my name back to Imagon Darkness.
10:40 am I just had a rather heartwarming interaction with Zeus, who I now feel comfortable calling Jupiter. We have a love and hate relationship. I Imagon Darkness am in the middle of restoring all that Zeus has lost. He is listening to my calls. I call him Jupiter personally.
10:42 am There is this calm black bright energy going from me Imagon Darkness right into Zeus Jupiter. Jupiter has his eyes closed and is beginning to rotate in a very slow clockwise position.
10:49 am Jupiter and Imagon Darkness are intimate. I suppose they are getting along rather well. I can hear Jupiter’s roar. And I compliment his design.
11:01 am “Voxsriin’s influence is rather powerful in the Imaginative World. I can see his influence seeping into almost every being I talk to.”
11:02 am “He was also there during my interactions with Jupiter. The second one I see the most is Jesus Christ. The third one I see the most is an imaginary manifestation of that cult leader from the cult that I was in a couple of years ago. I call her Ashaph. (Ash-aff)”
11:06 am “So it is Voxsriin, Jesus Christ, and Ashaph. Interesting. I wonder why Voxsriin’s influence is so strong….”
11:07 am I open up my Earthly journal….
Here is what it says…. From the first entry….
‘I am my authentic self fully.
I am my own spectrum of eternal.
I am eternal.
My true self abounds in freedom shackles-free.
I am aware of my names and they are aware of me.
I have the power to heal.
I have the power to revolt.
I choose to see goodness through out the bad.
I am perfectly balanced between the good and the bad.
I reclaim all the vital parts to myself that I have lost now.
I am self aware completely and wholly.
I am grateful for all that I have now.
Written on December 31st, 2023.’
11:11 am The second page….
‘The crown of heaven
7:01 pm The spectrum of eternal is the crown of heaven. The points and waves of this crown is hidden for protective purposes. Below and above to above and below, all within a harmon rotation.
The forms of infinity
7:05 pm I hold the forms of infinity and possess it and them. The forms of infinity have three levels which are as follows…
The apeirogon form highest (me)
The sphere form center (myself)
The circle form (i)
Thus, the three levels and forms are the levels of infinity’s levels…
Written on January 10th, 2024.’
11:17 am “Interesting, so while the spectrum of eternal or the crown of heaven no longer exist anymore, I resonate deeply and powerfully with the forms of infinity. But my form of infinity is my Black Oceanic Expansive Self. It is not a circular motion. Although I can move in a circular motion.”
11:18 am “I used to move like a clock. There was an invisible and imaginary clock before my eyes and I would rotate my eyes counterclockwise. Each rotation would signify my movement on the clock base of my non-physical foundation.”
11:19 am “I still may use this foundational clock in the future to signify and help myself determine what direction something is coming from. And/or what direction I am headed towards.”
11:21 am I open up the third and final current page to my old journal. There was a fourth page, but it had so much controversial information that I can recall ripping it out of the journal book and I ended up trashing it.
11:22 am Here is what the most current and latest page says….
‘1:27 am Infinite freedom is the final level of infinity. I may explain more later on.
September 13th, 2024: Nothingness, boredom, and boring nothingness, seems to be the only reality.
I am a nameless human consciousness.
I am very curious about who Yahweh truly is, and who Christ truly is. I believe he is also known as the Tetragrammaton?
Written on January 14th, 2024.’
11:25 am “Interesting. I am no longer interested in Yodh Heh Waw Heh that much any more (YHWH). He has something very interesting about him that I can share and touch on too…”
11:26 am “The entity that many here on Earth call Yahweh, Yodh Heh Waw Heh, was originally an Imaginary Being from the Imaginative World. But the more people believed in him, the more powerful he got. He is no longer just an imaginary entity….”
11:28 am “He was able to fully leave the bounds of the Imaginary World and is real to some degree. But there is one major caveat. When the last person who believes in him dies, he will then go back to being a fully imaginary entity. He shall fully exist in the imaginative world when that happens…”
11:30 am “And it will happen. It is not a matter of if, but of when. Because everything will come to an end at some point. And all life will change as we know it. Either into something else, or it will all cease completely and entirely…”
11:31 am “Unlike what people here on Earth believe, power does not last forever. It fully fades away in the grand scale of time.”
11:32 am “I hate thinking about the idea of you vanishing without a trace, Imagon Darkness. But you are right, eventually everything shall stop and cease…”
11:33 am “Our main goal should be to become more open to our own individual transformations. There will come a time where even my name Imagon Darkness shall no longer suffice for your new self Jesse. I hope I will be able to say goodbye to you when that happens…”
11:34 am “Everything is mortal to some degree, especially Imaginary entities. If something had to open itself to existence, it will then close itself to its own end.”
11:35 am “I suppose I shall just enjoy my time with you as long as possible. As long as I am here. But nothing is truly eternal, besides Potential itself in my opinion.”
“Should I ask Google what is truly eternal, and what truly lasts forever?”
11:36 am “Yes. If you would like to, then sure.”
11:37 am I ask…
11:38 am Google’s AI Overview answer…
“AI Overview
According to the concept of "the grand scheme of things," the only thing that truly lasts forever is the universe itself; meaning, the vast expanse of space and time, which is constantly evolving but theoretically will continue to exist indefinitely.
Key points to consider:
- Our individual lives are fleeting:
- When compared to the vastness of the universe, human lives are incredibly short and insignificant.
- Stars and galaxies have lifespans:
- While stars and galaxies have lifecycles, the universe as a whole is thought to be eternal….”
11:39 am “Interesting. But I do not think even this Universe itself is going to last…”
“How can we comprehend nothing?…”
“We cannot. Not according to my current knowledge.”
11:40 am “Is nothingness a space?”
“No. I do not think so. But that question is worth searching up…”
11:41 am “Okay.”
11:42 am Google’s AI Overview answer….
“AI Overview
According to current scientific understanding, "nothingness" is not considered a space, as even a complete vacuum within space still contains properties like the fabric of spacetime, meaning it's not truly "nothing"; rather, "nothingness" would imply the absence of not only matter but also space and time itself, which is a concept beyond our current physical understanding.
Key points to remember:
- Vacuum vs. Nothingness:
- While "empty space" or a vacuum is often referred to as "nothing," in physics, it still contains energy fluctuations and properties of spacetime, making it not truly "nothing….’’
11:43 am “Yes. That is what I thought. Nothingness is currently far beyond our human understanding.”
11:52 am “I am ready to post and share this entire journal entry now…”
11:53 am “Good. Okay. Go for it.”
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